Updated: Oct 5, 2022
Most people find comfort, status and over the course of time they ground their self-esteem to ideologies, titles, geographical locations, sub-groups and other fragile identity-defining mechanisms to develop a sense of belonging. A sense of positive momentum and direction.
But if those mechanisms are in anyone else's control, you will never have power over your own sense of belonging. You will never gain your own sense of control over your momentum, your own sense of positive and negative direction, and that ultimately leads to losing any sense of our own internal foundation of objective integrity. We become ever more fragile to those people, places and things we depend on to feel powerful. To feel like we belong. To feel accepted. Successful.
Because the weight of the sacrifices, the cementing of the impulses and the nature of the mindsets that lead us there, the elements that still pressure us to ignore our dwindling spark we once held on to tightly, is ever present but becomes less and less invasive. Because we develop to find comfort in evading these instincts and voices that are telling us to wake up.
We have made our beds and we live in fear that those who made us feel powerful, successful, bright and ahead of the field... could take it all away in an instant. The core of every ounce of anxiety you have ever felt, and that will never go away without gaining the courage and insight to reevaluate these impulses and elements. We define ourselves instead of processing them for ourselves.
We do things we are used to, because we have been mentored to. All we know is what other people know and instilled within us. We searched for normal, for stable and for smaller and smaller comfort zones that encourage our subjective instincts, while numbing our brighter expansive objective intuitions... which truly make life worth living. The current our brain can create on its own, the sense of wonder and thirst for life begins to dissipate.
But what kind of dismissals do we all fear? For most, any and all manners of dismissal.
Dismissed from a job, a partner, a group, an event, any and all sense that we do not belong, that we failed or that we do not fit in. Any time you feel convinced that you are not good enough or worth less because of temporary things, mistakes, flaws or incomplete foundations of understanding, it is an opportunity to reevaluate all of those elements and build a stronger foundation of your own.
Anxiety can either cripple a system, or cause it to expand and evolve into a stronger more efficient process, and your nervous system is no different. The fear of dismissal can fuel you until it poisons you, or you can grasp it while you still have the opportunity, to process these elements and measure the intrinsic value for yourself. Understand this, the reliance on hindsight will suffocate every single person who overvalues it rather than process it for themselves.
Because once you discover for yourself that every single thing that ever made you sad and feel less comfortable was the best thing for you, it was just waiting to be processed and transformed into propulsion once you grasp it for what it is. You will find your sense of power, integrity, direction and momentum that you have been searching for your whole entire life, but surrendered it little by little, day after day because you were afraid to lose everything you sacrificed even though it was hurting you with every heartbeat, all because you feared being dismissed.
But not forever. Not anymore.